Her life changed seven months ago just on a day like today....it was no different..just another ordinary day...ordinary in soo many ways yet extraordinary in soo many ways too...she can still remember..every minute detail as if it all hapened just yesterday...the "pinkness", the straw hat,the gollywog,the intoductions, the questions, the answers, the jokes, the scores....the eyes...no! no eyes.
and then sometimes she wonders whether he remembers...anything...anything at all! was it soo insignificant that he has not even one tiny single memory of it...why could it not mean as much to him as it was to her..as it still is...
it was him! he led her on...he gave her things that noone ever had, made her feel things that noone had ever made her feel, did things for her that noone else had done..yes they were not big fancy things but that is what made them all the more special..all the more hard to forget..opened her heart to love....and then broke it.
it was unintentional..she knows..yet he broke her heart....and what makes it all the more worse is coz he still doesnt realize it....sometiems she wonders whether he does..whether what ever he now does for her is done out of pity for the "nice heart of the one in a million girl"...i guess she'll never know..just like the so many other things that she will never know.
she was his mistake...the victim of his broken heart..the victim of his past..the past that he has yet not let go off and maybe never will....the victim of his confused mixed up emotions, his inability to see what he has, what he has lost and what he needs!
the timing was all wrong! she met him at the wrong time...it was right for her and wrong for him...it was too soon...had it maybe been some other time she wonders whether it may have been different....she can never be her..the past he still clings on to....so the possibility of it being differnt is almost nil!
it wasnt anyones's mistake....it was just the way things were meant to be...it was life..fate..destiny.. that their paths had to cross....that hearts had to be broken...tears had to be shed...memories that will remain forever..
but it wasnt fair...life wasnt fair to her...it wasnt fair that she had to lose...he lost nothing..coz he had nothing to lose...it was she...she lost...she's still lost...lonely...not knowing where to go..stranded in the middle of nowhere...while he goes on without a care. it isnt fair that everyone asks her to forget and move on...if it was that easy she would have done it herself..does he expect her to forget it all and just move on....not forgetting him too?
love is just one whole big illusion......all it brings is tears and pain and heartbreak.
she knows that she has to let go..maybe not right now...but at some point....if not he'll hurt her again and this time she will be responsible not him!
it breaks her heart to know what she knows......
it is not her who his heart misses.....
but for her......he'll always be the one....the one heart that her heart will always long for..will always miss..will always love...
she'll never forget....her heart wont let her....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xJuD6L-azg&feature=player_embedded
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