missing!

Exams!! sigh!

Yes i have studied..maybe even more than other times..i have put in a lot of effort, time and truly focused despite alot of negative distractions. The positive distractions have vanished this time over..is that a good thing or not i sometimes wonder? I feel more confident than last time...i feel better prepared i feel better in many ways....but yet...

but yet...how much has changed since the last time i sat for a major exam...soo much..

yes true i'm better prepared this time..i know i can do better and yes i do want to do well and get good grades. Yet that support...that encouragment that "you can do it Pri" is missing...and i yearn for it..i do..when i'm tired and stressed and feel that i cant do anymore, when my confidence fails me, when i absolutely cant go any further i want that encouragement...that "hey miss pri take it easy..you can do it..ur a smart girl", i need that reassuarance that i cant give my own self, that "mamme kiyuwoth waradin ne..take my word for it".....i need it coz...i need it..

i know its still within my reach...but in soo many ways its different...

my heart yearns for that confidence, that support that only that one person can give me..the very thing that i cant have..its a pity that my heart always wants things that it cant have...

so this time over i'm on my own...noone to report back to after exams...no "i told u it would be easy for you ne", no one to complain about to about all the shortcomings in the paper, noone to cheer me up when i'm in total despair that i'v flunked...no more calls from banga to tell me that what is gone is gone!! cheer up leave it behind and move on...

i'm on my own..and i will survive...without that source of confidence and support..i will do my best on my own! coz ther's no other alternative....
i truly wish my happy charm was around..it may not have brought me luck but it brought soo many other things that were sooo much better that luck alone!

miss pri is a smart girl...thank you for telling me that....