:(

and it happens again....evrything seems ok and then in the course of a few minutes it changes. the feeling returns. that nameless awful feeling that makes me feel just empty, hollow and blank:( its my fault..i always seem to open a can of worms at the wrong time...i keep going back...remembering...i wish i could stop thinking! i wish someone would take away my ability to think! as usual i always keep wishing for things i cant have..ever!
i cant help it...there's always something that will make it all come back....
just when i think....things seem better now....i end up realizing that nothing has changed....and i wonder whether it ever will...
nothing scares me more than the thought that i will always be here. stuck.unable to move on! and now i doubt whether the decision i made was the wisest thing to do...maybe i should have listened to what my friends said rather than trusting my own self..n my warped decisions.
i miss it...i realy do:(