2010:)

Dear blog

It's been ages eh..im kinda bored with you now! i mean i have nothing more to say, no more depressing thoughts, no more K!!

anyways i thought i should make use of you to write down my new year resolutions. I'm all enthusiastic about the new year at the moment but thats coz its new and we all know that new brooms sweep well! LOL! so just in case somewhere down the line i forget my resolutions "jodaykelle@blogspot.com" will be there to remind me of what i ought to remember. so here goes..

resolution no 1- reduce consumption of coke!

resolution no 2- DO NOT FALL IN LOVE

resolution no 3- will not let my life revolve around anyone however nice they may be!

resolution no 4- be happy

resolution no 5- doing alot of extra reading for uni

resolution no 6- find at least 3 new friends

resolution no 7- dare to do something different:)

hmmm thats about it. its quite an interesting list i think. i do hope that i will be able to stick to it. especialy to no 2!!!

I sometimes wonder what surprises 2010 will hold for me. at the beginning of 2009 i never expected that soo much would happen. that my life would change in soo many ways. I do know that there'll be many to come.the good and the bad! but this time i'm prepared for what ever may come my way. thats the difference between the pri of 2009 and the pri of 2010! I know that this year im not going to make the same mistakes i made last year. I will make new ones and learn from them but never repeat the old ones!

I'm not oblivious to the fact that people will drift apart from me this year as well. That's life. people drift apart. a precious few remain. They are your true friends and they are the only people i have room for in my life this year.

Selfish as this may sound, this year I have decided that i will not let my life revolve around anyone but myself!!! Cos the one person who i can totaly depend on is prinny and she's all that matters to me! And i do sincerely hope that noone lets their lives revolve around me either coz jeez thats gonna be a disaster indeed!!

Last year I was foolish enough to depend on another for happiness. Today i realize that one's happiness depends on one's self! It is only you who can decide whether your going to move on with life, enjoy the good things, count ur blessings and make the most of everything life has to give you! OR stay stuck in your own misery, stubbornly refusing to move on. Human beings are soo fickle, and vulnerable thats its not fair of us to rely on them for our happiness. If someone lets you down its not their fault after all. they are just being human. I wouldnt want anyone placing their happiness in my hands coz i know that i could never live up to their expecatations. It was a pity that i expected soo much from one person. it was all i knew at the time...

I made a lot of mistakes last year. Being too nice was one of them. Not listening to Wendy was another! But amidst all the mistakes i made one wise decision. It was probably the hardest decision i ever made but today if theres one thing i'm glad about its that i took that one step to drift apart and not hold on to something that was never mine to begin with. It broke my heart to burn the broken bridge but today happy blue is back coz I took the initiative to do it.:)

I do miss him at times. i guess in a way i always will. The anger and bitterness that i once had towards him is now no more. it dissolved with the new year. I buried the past. I realize now, that after all he never did anything so wrong that i need to harbour resentment against him for the rest of my life. He made a mistake. So did i! It was noones mistake. It was just the way things were meant to be. He will always have a very fond place in my heart coz deep inside i know that he will always be one of the nicest boys i have ever met. The pearls will always be a reminder. I do sincerely hope that 2010 will be an year of opportunities for him. He has remained on the bench long enough..carried far too many water bottles and just like everyone else he deserves to have his dream come true too. I do hope that luck will be on his side and that he'll make it to the squad soon.

My life or my happiness no longer revolves around you K...i miss you.

For the first time in a long time i'm realy realy happy! and i do hope that this happiness lasts. I feel free and the pain of the past seems to have vanished almost completly. I have finaly found the peace that i was looking for soo desparately. Happy Blue is back:)

Nothing in life comes easy. there's a price you have to pay for everything.Things have to be given up..goodbyes must be said. Nothing worth the having can be won without a tear:)

The one good thing that happend to me last year was that i met the most AMAZING bunch of friends ever. The friends i made last year are probably the best i have ever made! and something tells me that they are not the kind who will drift apart. Some of my strongest bonds were formed last year..those bonds are what have helped me survive. They brought happy blue back:)

Today as i write this i feel happy and content..I no longer feel lost, lonely and empty.

2010 has a lot to offer. new hopes, new dreams, new goals.

This year i will not let anyone steal my happinesss from me. I've promised myself that!!!

bring it on 2010...happy blue cant wait to see what surprises you have for her!

P.s- geez i hope santa doesnt plan on having any tea parties for his raindeer mates and invite me too! GEEZ LOUISE:P lol:)